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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/13/2011
Dear 2011 survivors,
Radicals to the left of me, reactionaries to the right. Does anyone on this planet have the brains to pour piss out of a boot? That’s a rhetorical question. Rectal/Crainial Inversion Syndrome is spreading like Mad Cow. Politics? You can’t handle my politics. Besides, this whole court is out of order.
The California legislature, in its appalling lack of common sense and inherent ability to ignore their job descriptions, has bequeathed upon us some nifty new laws for 2012. Both sides of the aisle are equally culpable for wasting our tax dollars on inane and petty personal agendas. At least when a “Snake Oil Salesman” sold my grandma a bottle of paregoric (liquid opium to you youngsters), it made her feel better for a little while. You may want to join grammy in a little medication after I subject you to my three favorite:
SNAFU NEW LAWS for 2012
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Packing? Who? Me? California Handgun Open Carry Law:
Supported by cops who understandably cannot tell whether openly carried weapons are loaded or not, scofflaws shall be relieved of $1,000 and given a concrete slab bed to sleep on for six months. Dear whomever, if you see me with my P-38 on my hip, you can bet your ass it’s loaded. I don’t pack as a fashion statement.
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California Male Circumcision Law:
Local governments can no longer ban infant circumcision. I guess that means that if you are not a baby, hat removal is still optional. Assuming, of course, you’re a masochistic moron. Believe me, it hurts. Think not? Read the attachment at the end of this rant.
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Child restraints:
California kids will have to use a booster seat in a vehicle until they are 8 years old, or at least 4’9” tall. My mind drifts back to watching sailors get catapulted off the Cyclone Racer Roller Coaster by the sign that says “Don’t Stand Up In The Cars”. Those same “they” clowns have recently passed laws abolishing dwarf-tossing nationwide. How in the hell is any self respecting little feller going to be able to drive his two-foot kids to school? I suppose if those evil class-president clowns---who bitterly thought that the gig would get them laid with no guitar chops---had the marbles to think things through, they wouldn’t have become politicians. Me thinks it would be appropriate to paraphrase Peter Pan’s daughter; “It’s not their fault, they’re just mean old men that need a mommy”.
Kudos to Assemblyman Jeffries, my ABATE family and all of our supporters for
helping to pass the “Kill Bill” biker-only roadblock abolishment legislation, AB
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This is what reminds me that I’m fighting the good fight. Wish us luck.
Ooo-Rah!
Nickolas.
p.s. Before you read the following, grab something.
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
12/20/2011
Slap Happy New Tear!
‘Tis the season. The three-tissue enjoyment derived from participating in as many toy and turkey runs as possible, puts whatever crap may have occurred in the past year in perspective. Ho, ho, ho-wise, I personally find the line between naughty and nice a bit blurred. Nevertheless, it’s a most excellent time of year to rally the troops to supply smiles and dignity to those in need, and smite Grinches wherever they may appear. I believe I previously divulged that this season, I’m grappling with a Grinch or few.
It’s been painfully pointed out to me, that the federal anti-gang task force found one or two agents who could read, and forced Santa’s helpers (under penalty of demotion to the DEA), to peruse my convoluted columns. To those eager elves; I apologize for your being forced to see yourselves pilloried in print. Please accept the following information as a peace offering.
Dear government guys and gals,
I really do sympathize with your fear of downsizing and your need to justify your jobs, but your superiors have been feeding you a load of 50w. You keep referring to the steady increase in biker fatalities over the previous decade, as an excuse to commit profiling in the name of safety, which we all know translates to revenue enhancement. You may be surprised to find that motorcycle fatalities have actually dropped 30% from 2008 until now. That decrease is due to the educational efforts of ABATE, licensing schools and myriad motorcycle rights organizations, not motorcycle-only checkpoints. Sitting on a curb for an hour or so being grilled about your life history, is unlikely to make anyone a better rider.
Your boss, his boss and some spook, give the real gang stuff to federal agents above your pay grade. State and local officials will keep taking advantage of you as long as you keep throwing tax dollars at them, and local law enforcement officers resent being bossed around in their own yard.
It’s not entirely your fault. Try to play nice. Maybe we can find something in common on my wish list.
My Wish List for 2012.
By: Jolly Old St. Nick
Age: Dirt.
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World Peace. Just kidding…even I’m not that delusional. However, a little less lead poisoning would be nice.
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Legalize Drugs. At least with the profit motive gone, the Cartels can devolve into the mad monkeys they are, fighting over leftovers among themselves and hopefully decimating all sides. Greed has a habit of biting the butts of those who succumb to her wiles.
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Universe, quit pissing me off, or at least have the balls to show yourselves. Somebody please for the love of all of our gods, let me get my hands on those they bastards (they know who they are) who keep following me around with that damned death ray. Asshollogically speaking, I believe the planetary alignment is known as Uranus retrograde, more commonly referred to as cosmic constipation. It doesn’t matter in what form it may manifest itself ---mechanical thingies, TV shows, supermarket food (I have to go to go to three different stores just to make a decent chicken chow-mein), party towns, women---as soon as I get used to it, it gets discontinued.
Like the rest of us, I’m guilty of bitching and moaning about all sorts of hogwash. Whining, however is not tolerated here at Casa Del Perro. Nobody reading this really has it bad enough to whine. The “Oh poor me, why does God hate me?” syndrome just won’t cut it. Doubt me? You may be hocking your gold fillings for beer and Pampers, but look around at your friends and family (even if your mother-in-law is an evil troll), then turn on the six o’clock news.
Mele Kalikimaka & Haoli Makahiki Ho,
Nickolas.
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
11/11/11
I apologize for being “on hiatus” as our “P” Greg was kind enough to say. Actually, “under the gun” is a more appropriate term. Most of the time being me is way too much fun. Occasionally though, it gets unpleasantly bizarre. In wine terms; "Etherial yet Pugnacious". It is, however, cheap entertainment. Maybe someday I’ll learn to behave myself. Then again, if I was wise enough to practice what I preach, my opinion wouldn’t be worth much. So...back to my job.
Legaleziesly, the “bad news first” piece of knowledge I must impart to y’all, is important to anyone riding anything resembling a motorcycle. In-law, Out-law, Patch Holder, enthusiast or Vespa fan, is considered by the Federal Anti-Gang taskforce to be a gangsta. This has been going on for a few months now, funded by $79k of our tax dollars. Pretty soon they’ll be eyeing your grandma’s walker suspiciously. They are tapping your cell phone conversations, hacking your email, stalking you in beater cars and pickin' on me. Keep a friend on your six. I'm not saying be paranoid (unless you're a tweaker), just be aware out there.
Use some good news? A little some-some? Against all odds, we cage-challenged folk have achieved a legitimate brain-pan boon. Or, if you prefer, a humongous helmet victory. My friend and fellow freedom fighter Mark Temple (renowned/notorious for the helmet burning on the capitol steps) of BOLT, done pulled off a humdinger.Here's the tale:
During a charity run to Yuba City on August 13 to benefit a girl who lost her dad in a crash, the YCPD wrote over a dozen helmet tickets to participating riders. Said riders were a bit miffed and had they're shit togrther when they went to court.
The last of the helmet trials (we’re pretty sure) began on the morning of October 21st. In one corner a sweaty DA’s office goon. In the other corner was defendant Rich, well prepped by coach Temple standing by with the teeth protector.
Previously, Mark, having been subpoenaed as an “Expert Witness”, was schmoozed by the DA in hopes of gleaning trial info. I doubt the conversation boosted the DA’s enthusiasm, but apparently Mark didn’t slap a burning helmet on his melon. The defense did, however, find a sympathetic ear in the form of presiding Judge Chandler.
The prosecution and “Bikers of Lesser Tolerance” actually brought helmets to court. That effort, as much of a hoot as it could have been, turned out to be unnecessary. Believe it or not, there actually are a few Judges out there who are not complete Bozos. The trial begins:
The pencil-happy cop takes the stand. Rich objects to the officer reading from his notes. The Judge says “you bet your bailiff” and pulls the plug on the cop’s testimony. The DA began to blabber about the defendant’s helmet not having a DOT sticker on it, and then it was Rich’s turn to cross-examine.
I would have paid money to have heard the cross-examination, but before Rich had an opportunity to launch his long practiced counter-attack, Judge Chandler stopped the trial. Having had his fill of the prosecution’s ineptitude and stupidity, he based his "NOT GUILTY" verdict re: Penal Code Section1118, on one simple fact:
The DA could not produce any law nor show any previous ruling requiring a helmet wearer to keep the inside and outside DOT stickers on the helmet after he buys it, considering it “Consumer Info” for the point of sale only. My kind of judge.
Now that it looks like every Yuba City topper ticket is either dismissed or round-filed, wouldn’t it be spiffy if we took the ball that Rich and Mark tossed us, and batted it around the rest of the state? Don't forget; always drive the first pitch straight at the pitcher’s nose. He'll throw you ducks for the rest of the game.
Nickolas.
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
3/24/2011
Watch your backs troops. One of those pernicious $70,000 federal grants earmarked for biker only profiling, has weasled its way into my beloved Elsinore Valley. You bet your bippie I take it personally, I’m mightily pissed off, and a wee bit paranoid. I’m not going to enjoy telling you why.
For perspective, I’ve been in the habit of riding up to Hell’s Kitchen, three times a week or more, for many moons. This is going put a serious hitch in my get-a-long. The progress I’ve made with the City Council won’t be enough help. The only ray of sun spots; Lake Elsinore’s Police and Sheriffs are not part of this upcoming unconstitutional caper, and some of them are pissed too. Don’t fear the Middle East, we’re being invaded by Temecula.
Beginning April fool’s day and running through the end of September, the CHP’s Temecula office will be descending upon the Ortega Highway. They will clog 33 miles from Grand Avenue to Capistrano, with the mandate of catching “unsafe” motorcyclists. They will be picking nits and being purposely snarky, trying to get you to talk yourself into the clink. Don’t fall for it.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration “Motorcycle Safety Coalitions” grant, coughed up enough money to fund “overtime and special operations geared to motorcycle riders”, so sayeth Officer Ron Thatcher.
CHP data from January 2007 to December 2008 indicate there were 75 motorcycle collisions from where the Ortega Highway begins in San Juan Capistrano (I take issue with that), to Grand Avenue in southwest Riverside County (Excuse me? We are a real town you know?). Twenty-five of the accidents resulted in injuries, all due to excessive speed.
The commander of the Temecula Office, Captain Ernie Sanchez, said; “Taking a turn too fast, a motorcyclist is likely to find himself in over his head. This stretch of highway demands concentration and caution on the part of the rider.” He then covered his “safety” butt, saying “With this Grant, We’re hoping to not only raise awareness and educate motorcyclists, but ultimately save lives and reduce the number of riders injured every year.” He neglected to mention that fatalities have been dropping steadily for quite some time.
I’ve always warned you that when legislation has any reference to “safety” in it, hide your wallet. The copious amounts of cashish that the revenue enhancement roust fest will undoubtedly generate, sure as hell won’t make up for the income our local merchants depend on in the summer. Bummer. Be careful out there.
Sorry for the crappy news. I’ll try to make it up to you with this blurb from the blotter:
by Last Monday, a veteran San Diego police officer had a very bad day. He was arraigned in Superior Court, charged with eliciting sexual favors from three women during DUI traffic stops. Prosecutors say that a fourth alleged victim will appear soon
Anthony Arevelos, 40, pleaded not guilty to 10 felony counts, including sexual battery by restraint, receiving a bribe, assault and battery by an officer, and false imprisonment. According to Assistant District Attorney Sherry Thompson, here’s how the licentious lawman played it:
During DUI stops in the Gaslamp Quarter, he would ask all of the ladies what they could offer him to avoid the hoosegow. The women ranged in age from 20 to 31. After inquiring about their backgrounds, he would tell them how expensive drunken driving cases can be, and they probably couldn’t afford it.
In the latest case, on March 8, he asked a woman leaving Mardi Gras celebrations what it was worth to get out of an arrest. He cajoled her into going to a nearby 7-Eleven and then asked her for her panties and bra, in a locked bathroom. The woman claims he then put his arm around her and fondled her crotch, before letting her go.
He then gave her back her undies, got her phone number, and texted her later to see if she got to work OK. I’m surprised he didn’t give her a rose. This case is the biggest nail in his approaching coffin. They have surveillance tapes of the two going into the restroom.
The offal officer is out on $200,000 bail, while the investigation scoots along. San Diego police continue to receive reports from potential victims. It’s up to a possible nine so far.
Currently, Arevalos faces up to eleven years and four months in prison. That doesn’t seem nearly long enough for my liking. I hope they drop his sorry ass on the mainline.
Don’t forget that the always entertaining Steve Shapiro, Esq., has guaranteed me he will appear at the next ABATE 27 meeting, on April 5. Be there or be square.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
3/11/2011
At our last Local 27 meeting, I promised to keep everyone informed about Wagner et al. v. The County of Schenectady et al. That’s the New York case challenging the constitutionality of “Motorcycle Only” check points. This is more than just a big deal, this will have an everlasting effect on how we ride, work, play and live. But have faith folks, we have a very good chance of winning. If we do, those $70,000 Federal biker harassment grants to the states (currently beginning implementation, as an experiment using us all as guinea pigs), will become moot.
The suit is currently slogging its way through the U.S. District Court for Northern New York. Whether we win or loose at the State level, it will go to the Supreme Court. This is not a situation in which I can ask ABATE or anyone else to contact their representatives, it wouldn’t help. Surprisingly though, it looks like I’ll be able to keep everybody up to date.
The lead attorney for the Plaintiffs is Mitchel Proner. Mitchel doesn’t normally do Civil Rights cases. One usually has to have eaten some asphalt to retain his services. He is, however, a biker and this case plucked his little gillywigger. He seems like a pretty decent sort. We’ve had a couple of chats, and he has promised to email me updates as they happen.
On the subject of lawyers, try to remember to remind yourself not to forget, that Steve Shapiro will be saying a few words at our next Local 27 meeting (April 5).
“Biker 101” is back in the news. Those wacky Washington Troopers should really have their own TV show. I can envision a cross between “Saturday Night Live” and the “Sons of Anarchy.”
A while back, Washington state trooper Keith Pigott, apparently feeling a bit cranky, decided to stop one James Wege and his trusty, suspicious looking motorcycle. Pigott ordered James to take his helmet off or face arrest. Mr. Wege, being pretty sure there was no law that would force him to comply, stood his ground and declined. Pigott has admitted to using Biker Basics 101 (said snarky scribbles can be found in my previous article) as a training manual. So…being a good little trooper, Pigott arrested James for disobedience and impounded his bike.
James was vindicated in court, but there was a high cost in time, money, grief and aggravation. Adding insult to injury, they confiscated his motorcycle.
Having decided to get mad and get even, James filed a civil suit in Superior Court. He seeks to recover damages from Trooper Pigott and his wife (community property), the State of Washington and the Washington Highway Patrol. I guess they picked on the wrong guy.
There is a permanent injunction in place prohibiting the use of Biker Basics 101, but that doesn’t seem to be a deterrent to those few officers like Keith Pigott who have that “Tin God” complex going for them. Fortunately, there is a move in the State House to introduce anti-profiling legislation allowing such abuses to be prosecuted. Mr. Wege’s lawsuit should be helpful in that endeavor.
It’s not too late to vote for the POW/MIA NASCAR…car. Go to “In the News” on this here site.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
2/27/2011
Howdy Y’all,
In the previous article, I wrote about the Michael Jon Newkirk Transportation Safety Enhancement Act of 2011 (H.R. 259), but some information about Mr. Newkirk that I couldn’t find easily, kept nagging my noggin. I also promised to try to track down the police training pamphlet “Bikers 101.” After running down a site-pot full of dead end leads during my Internet investigation, I can finally report the results of the search.
Let me begin with an apology. While informing you about the dangers of H.R. 259, I was having a tough time finding accident information about Newkirk’s demise, so I dismissively said that he was a dirt-biker who landed on his head. While that’s true as far as it goes, not knowing the back story kept me awake. I felt like I had performed a disservice to my readers and myself. I’d like to rectify that.
When he was 16 years old, Michael Newkirk asked his mother if he could be an organ donor, saying “Mom, what if I died a brain death or something?” On the day of his prom, Michael hopped in a friend’s truck to go to the store. On the way, another truck hit them head-on, smashing Michaels head into the dashboard. He passed away at the University of Texas Medical Building. Cause of death --- a broken seatbelt. Picking up on this tragedy, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee thought that Michael’s death would be the perfect sympathy grabber to help pass her repressive legislation on the third try, since Texas doesn’t look for broken passenger seat belts when conducting traffic stops. Don’t let her get away with it. As a biker, Michael would be offended by Jackson Lee’s use of his name to restrict biker’s rights. You can find your representative by going to “Info and Tools” on our home page and voicing your opinion.
On the positive side, Michael did indeed sign up as an organ donor. His heart, liver, pancreas and both kidneys, wound up saving four lives. My sympathies go out to his mother Susanne and my apologies to you.
Long into my Internet search, I was beginning to think that “Biker 101” was nothing more than an urban legend until I actually found it. Just how many law enforcement personnel are using this manual, I don’t yet know. Have a nice read.
BIKERS BASIC 101
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Bikers are dangerous
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Always use caution
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Bikers are attempting to gather intelligence too
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They just don’t write the tickets
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Identify the violation
1. In Washington, three main motorcycle violations
a. RCW 46.37.530 – Helmet violation
b. RCW 46.37.537 – Exhaust
c. RCW 46.61.611 – Handle bar height
d. Other violations
III. Plan your stop
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Use caution
a. Two officers are better than one
2. You pick the place to make the stop
a. Do not let the biker(s) control the stop
3. The contact
a. Be professional
III. Stopping a biker (one)
a. Two against one is always nice, three against one is better
b. Do not say it unless you are planning to do it.
c. If you can legally issue an infraction or citation do it.
d. If you can legally impound the motorcycle or book the biker do
so.
1. But make sure you do the same to other bikers, (be uniform
and fair)
2. Keep the Biker on the machine
a. Kick stand up and machine off
b. While inspecting the machine, kick stand up hands on the
handle bars
c. If other Troops (cops) are with you, get the Biker off the Bike and
to the rear or wherever you feel safest
3. Keep the hands on the handlebars
a. No cigarettes
4. If they have to get off the bike place them to the rear or front of the bike,
or wherever you feel best
a. Keep them on the bike when you can
5. While you are with them, take note of their patches, pins, tattoos and
anything else hanging on them
a. Talk about their toys, (anything they have)
6. Always check the numbers on the frame and the motor
a. Know where the numbers are before doing it
1. Go to bike shops
2. Take classes on VIN
3. Learn from those who know
IV. Talk to the bikers
1. They are trying to get intelligence from you
2. Make use of the time you have with them
a. They have huge egos get them to brag
b. Their bragging has value
c. Talk to them about their patches
1. Where they earned it
2. How they earned it
3. When they earned it
4. What does the patch symbolize
3. Take their pictures
a. Get the patch and bike at the same time
b. Close up of their trinkets on the patch
c. Do not voluntarily let them take pictures of you
i. If you work bikes someone will get your picture
V. Stopping multiple bikes (more than one)
1. Get them stopped together
a. Five will try to go five ways
b. Stop who you want to stop, not who the Bikes want you to stop
2. Have them stopped single file
a. Keep the motors off and everyone on the Bike
3. Let them know you are doing business
a. Be professional, they will respect that, to an extent
4. You will probably have a loud mouth
a. You maintain control, not the loud mouth
b. Let them see the cover officers and you mean business
c. If one obstructs let them know you will do business
1. If you have a real problem talk to the Sergeant at Arms or
President
i. Not best option – stay in control
d. Have one contact officer
1. Be efficient, one at a time and keep order
e. Let the bikers know what you are doing
1. Do not let the old ladies flirt – do business
i. If they are too nice there is a reason
2. Take notes with each bike
f. Be professional
1. Take the appropriate action
2. Cite them
3. Book, where you legally can – be professional
i. They will remember you
4. Tow where you legally can – be professional
i. They will really remember you
5. Find the boss, President or whoever and let them know you
are doing business – always be professional
1. They will remember that
2. I give them my card so they know me! I do business and
the know that!
3. Fair and honest – professional
I kid you not, the above was transcribed verbatim from the manual, grammatical errors and all. It was filed as “Defendant’s Exhibit A” in a Superior Court trial. As hard as it is to believe, there really are writers more illiterate than I. I have seen a few affidavits from police officers that are quite reminiscent of the above author’s obvious inability to pass 6th grade English. I’ve also met quite a few very intelligent and compassionate cops. Although it’s not the case, I think it’s probably wise, for your own protection, to assume that all officers have read the manual. I wonder how many beers it’s going to take before I can laugh, instead of shiver, at the training pamphlet. I think I’ll try to find out. Wish me luck.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
2/22/2011
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” We have the best government money can buy.” “There are lies, damned lies and statistics.” “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
Those are a few of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain. “I love the smell of democracy in the morning.” I said that. Normally, I celebrate President’s Day by looking at the pictures on the bills in my wallet. Much to my dismay, I had to cancel this year’s celebration. At least it makes a good segue into taking a trip to D.C., the only town (that I’m aware of) to proudly elect a crack head that hangs with hookers. What a mayor.
Our Congress, being incapable of doing the jobs we pay them for, are attempting to go after the easy targets; us. It would be merely despicable, if they weren’t using our tax dollars to do it.
In a move that bolsters my endorsement for Texas’ desire to secede from the Union, U.S. Representative Sheila Jackson-Lee has introduced House Bill 229. Since our lawmakers constantly use “safety” as a catch all phrase to erode our rights, the bill is named the Michael Jon Newkirk Transportation Safety Enhancement Act of 2011. Having failed twice the last two years, she’s going for a third bite at the apple. Here’s the back story, sort of:
The best I can glean about Michael Jon Newkirk is that he was an Aussie dirt biker, whom I can only assume, landed on his head on something, somewhere. Either Representative Sheila (Australian for “babe”) is related, or she just found a handy rack to hang her attitude on.
The bill would create national standards for state safety standards for motor vehicles. It further requires states to establish minimum annual safety inspection programs or lose specific federal funds. In my world, that’s called extortion. Here’s the kicker:
This silly billy demands that the states must enact and enforce “a law that requires the owner of a motor vehicle registered in the state to present the vehicle for inspection on an annual basis to insure that the vehicle meets or exceeds motor vehicle safety standards to be established by the state.” California bikers that know which way the wind blows, can see the graffiti on the wall. Having once had my crew seriously rousted over one cracked (yet still functioning) tail light, this bill makes me nervous. Think air-bags, collision detection devices and anything else they can conceive of, just to be rude. This bill would create a standard that the states would have to meet or beat. It’s my guess that California’s rulers will pile on. There’s money to be made.
Our state, in its’ insatiable search for revenue, has a serious financial interest in fines wherever it can find them. As we all know, checkpoints are one of its’ favorite meals. Here’s some yummy checkpoint news for youse.
Daytona Bike Week is coming up soon (March 4~13). If you’re planning to go, here’s something you should know. The state of Georgia has received a $70,000 Federal grant to launch motorcycle-only checkpoints to start the festivities. Most riders from out of state will pass through the major points of entry, into the waiting arms of the troopers. They will be checking for such things as proper license and registration, insurance, DOT approved helmets, EPA approved mufflers, working horn and lights and anything else they can think of. If you’re not clean as a whistle, there are plenty of scenic back road routes.
There is, surprisingly, some good checkpoint news.
ABATE of Washington, The Confederation of Clubs and US Defenders are trying to build support for upcoming legislation that would smack down the widespread law enforcement practice of motorcycle profiling.
Washington Courts have confirmed that the Washington State Patrol is guilty of unlawful profiling and discrimination against motorcyclists. The cops admitted, under oath, that they profile members of motorcycle clubs and continue to use BIKER 101 as a training manual (I’ve been on a mission to find said booklet. If it exists on the web, I’ll post it as soon as I can).
Coming to the rescue, is Representative Steve Kirby (D-Tacoma). On January 19, he introduced HB 1333 to require law enforcement agencies to adopt a written policy that condemns and prevents motorcycle profiling. The bill requires the agencies to review existing procedures and institute training to address the issue of profiling. Bottom line, the bill makes it a no-no to use the fact that a person rides a motorcycle or wears motorcycle-related clothes as a factor in deciding to stop and question, arrest, or search a person or a vehicle without legal basis. The companion Senate bill is SB 5242.
It gets better. The National Highway Transportation Safety Administration has begun Federal funding for motorcycle checkpoints nationwide, in order to asses their effectiveness despite objections raised by members of Congress. The worst practitioner of repressive roadblocks is the State of New York.
New York bikers, traveling to and from runs and popular events are forced to pull off the road, regardless of any wrongdoing, and have their vehicles and equipment inspected for safety and non-safety equipment violations and stolen VIN numbers. Bikers have been detained for as long as 45 minutes in makeshift stockades, waiting for the cops to finish poking around.
In a move aimed at changing the laws nationally, Proner & Proner, a law firm representing New York bikers, sued the County of Schenectady to have biker only roadblocks declared unconstitutional. The case is currently before the U.S. District Court for Northern New York and will probably wind up being decided by the U.S. Supreme Court. The outcome will have a major impact on all of us.
The U.S. Supreme Court has already made it clear that any roadway checkpoint whose primary purpose is general crime control constitutes an unreasonable search and seizure under the Fourth Amendment and is consequently unconstitutional. It could be our turn to squeeze the states back. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. As soon as I hear how much trouble we are or aren’t in, I’ll let you folks know.
“That government is best which governs least.” Henry David Thoreau may have had something there. Personally, I’ll be happy just to celebrate next President’s day with a whole bunch of dead presidents in my wallet.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
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In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
2/13/2011
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my, my, my, had an awesome two daze.
If you recall, in my last communiqué, I informed y’all of the degree to which my ass was stuck out the window. Having seriously reconnoitered the weekend’s events in this glorious, run-off puddle we call Lake Elsinore, I am able to report “So far so good.”
If there was going to be any kind of kerfuffle resulting from my Tuesday chastising of the police department we had, before being blessed with our two fine, new Chief and Captain, this would have been the weekend.
Friday night, the Grandfathers M/C threw their annual Valentine’s Day Dinner and Dance, a few blocks from my home. A good time was had by all. The most common topic of conversation, was over how in the hell did we all manage to get this old. You would have thought we were a bunch of retired accountants, standing around a pool in Miami with our pants hiked up to our chests. I can picture white belts, bitching about the government full time and comparing medical maladies. In reality, it looked more like the “Pirates of the Caribbean”. What were the local LEOs up to, you ask? They were nowhere to be seen.
Saturday morning, having barely shaken off the previous evening’s festivities, the Hells Angels Riv/Co. held their St. Valentine’s Day Massacre party. Thank God it was only a few more blocks away from last night’s ho down.
I have to admit, I had a wee adrenaline pump going for me when my cohorts and I left the house. We had been getting calls all morning about the Police presence. Well, as an old bro used to say, “Put a bow in my hair and call me Sally”. Having waited all day today (Sun.), with feelers out (it’s a small town), I haven’t heard one complaint about harassment. Yet.
Our local cops plus a couple of Feds (didn’t think we’d notice, huh) had a semi roadblock at the bottom of the Ortegas and a couple of spots where they hit their lights every once in awhile. They apparently only wanted to make their presence known, just in case. You can only imagine what “just in case” scenarios were running through their heads. I suppose they were beyond relieved and totally amazed that they weren’t needed.
The turn-out was huge. The band was excellent. The weather was perfect. The girls were pretty and the beer was free. If that doesn’t sound like a good time to you, you must be dead. Multiple clubs were represented and the feeling of comradery was contagious.
Maybe my rant to the City Council last Tuesday got through to somebody, maybe not. Either way, I’d like to thank my brothers and sisters, for showing the local administration that we’re (mostly) not just a bunch of gangsters and gunsels. As a sceptic, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
===================================================================
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
2/11/2011
Tuesday night (the 8th), yours truly addressed the Lake Elsinore City Council. I’d like to thank you all, so much, for getting my ass into this. I was unusually nervous. It wasn’t because I was speaking in public, but because I seem to have a humongous crush on (former mayor) Council Member Melissa Melendez. I haven’t managed to take her for a ride yet, but I won’t quit trying. I have, however, gotten her to come out and associate with the bikers in our little valley and she’s with us. I also had the added thrill of feeling our new police chief and his captain drilling holes with their eyes through the back of my head.
I started by telling them what a “horrible” international reputation we have with most all bikers, stressing the consequential loss of tons of revenue. I finished by offering to take our reputation to rehab.
In between, representing as J.O. for Local 27 and an active associate of the COC, I took a shot at explaining why we’re considered one of the roust capitals of the world. As a result of poor P.R., bikers from all over who come to ride the super-fun Ortega Hwy, are advised to ride from Capistrano to Grand Ave. on the lake side, turn around and head back. This is meant to avoid any potential police problems in the city. They leave their tourist dollars with my friends at Cook’s Corner, Hell’s Kitchen, the Lookout and the Rolling Stop.
I gave a brief history lesson beginning with the arrival of the Federal Anti-Gang Task Force many moons ago and the resulting costs to the community. As a result of the magnitude of the intense harassment of bikers in the valley, more than a few establishments went broke. The inconvenience we old farts put up with (sitting on a curb, hands in back, being asked asinine questions like “Where did you go to high school?” for about an hour per stop), became a bit tiresome after awhile.
For a visual aid, I passed out some copies of our spiffy new Regional Rally flyers. I explained why the rally had to leave town, using Ida’s financial records. I pointed out that our cost (monies paid to the city) to hold the rally went from $4,985 in 2002 to $5,644 in 2008. To hold the rally in 2009, the city demanded $44,456. Ipsa loquitur. It speaks for itself even to someone who doesn’t want to hear.
Just to throw them off guard, I informed them of a statistic that even blows my mind. According to J.D. Power & Associates, the age of the average V-Twin rider has increased from 40 in 2001, to 49 in 2010. In 10 to 20 years, due to decreasing sales to the younger demographics, that median age will be 60 to 70 years old. My friends and I are already there, being old enough to have learned how to behave ourselves and giving new meaning to the term “Ghost Riders”. That was the only laugh I got.
I also mentioned I had been referring other money generating runs to venues out of town, like (Menifee Councilman) Tom Fhurman’s Wooden Nickel Ranch and the Winchester Arena. I offered to act as liaison and help in any way I can, to bring the money back to the lake. Some of you know that a small crew and I have been working on that, on the sly, for quite awhile already. Well, so much for low profile. My foot’s in it up to my eyeballs. Swell.
I closed by mentioning that Greg and I once stood on that very stage, receiving a plaque for May being “Motorcycle Awareness Month”. Mrs. Melendez interrupted me by saying “Weren’t you awarded that plaque by this man here?” pointing to former mayor Bob Magee seated next to her. When I acknowledged that it was indeed he, I noticed a bit of a grimace from Daryl Hickman. Hickman, as a former mayor, had bent over for the Feds at the time the task force rolled in. I don’t think we’re going to be beer buddies anytime soon.
On the way out, some volunteer lake patrol and firemen, as well as a couple of folks I wouldn’t have expected, gave me pats on the back and compliments on the scooter. That made me feel only a little better, since I still think I sucked. I’m not certain I would have had the stones to do it, if Melissa hadn’t kept asking. She could probably talk me into punching a bear. I hope she hasn’t talked me into a cell.
Nobody followed me home, or popped a cap in my cranium. I’m not sure if that burning sensation in the back of my head is a medic’s cross or a bull’s eye. I recon I’ll find out soon enough. The Grandfather’s Valentine’s Dance is tonight and it’s Red & White tomorrow. So, happy Saint Valentine’s Day and wish all of us luck.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/27/2011
The renowned philosopher Lewis Black once said, “Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.” I am a proud, card carrying member of N.A.C.N.A. (The Native American Church of North America), the N.R.A. and the A.C.L.U. I mention this because, recently, folks have oddly begun quizzing me about my political orientation. OK, fine. I like to think of myself (when I’m not ignoring my own advice), as a Realist. In this incarnation though, I have to be mindful that everyone has their own reality.
It’s my job to attempt making legal sense to every species of biker, from reactionaries to old hippies. That’s the best answer I can come up with, so please quit asking, it confuses me. Thanks.
Here’s a story that should entertain the whole spectrum of Scooterville denizens. The official headline is; “Secret Account Motorcycles Being Returned to Dealer.”
Yadkin County is a former home of my Cherokee ancestors in North Carolina. Way back in 1730, an “Indian Trader/snake oil salesman” by the name of Morgan Bryan, swindled the natives out of their land and moved his Quaker community in. These days, the former tobacco town lives on furniture, plastics and wine. I reckon there may be something amiss in their breeding program, since their population has only grown to 36,348 in a few hundred years.
The Sheriff in them there parts is one Mike Cain. On January 28, Sheriff Cain was forced to surrender his law enforcement certification, pay $20,000 in restitution and do 200 hours of community service. So what dastardly deeds did Deputy Dog do?
Sheriff Cain rode a Harley to Sturgis.
Aside from the sheer enjoyment derived from trying to squeeze through a mosh-pit full of drunken, wannabe gangsters when you’re just trying to find a place to pee, Sturgis wasn’t the problem. The kerfuffle was over the manner in which the Sheriff obtained the Harley to get there.
On October 26, 2004, the “Sheriff Mike Cain Officer’s Fund” was established with the deposit of a $492.60 check from Pay-Tel Communications. Pay-Tel is the company that charges you when you make collect calls from an incarcerated situation. Counties normally receive commissions from companies that do business with the penile system, and by law, that cashish must be deposited in the county’s general fund. Here’s where the thought plickens.
On the sly, Cain set up the Yadkin County Detention Center Commissary Fund to divert said fundage to his secret slush fund. Then Cain and his two top deputies commenced to blow the cash (around $40k) on three Harleys, which they rode to all kinds of funky functions. They also bought such accouterments as riding chaps, leather jackets, Cowboy hats and boots. Yee-hah!
The Harleys were the key to the deputy’s demise. In a small town like Yadkin, three cops on brand new bikes trying to look like scooter trash, sort of stood out. When other county officials began to sniff around, they found that Cain was foolish enough to use his own Social Security number when he set up his illicit bank account. That’s when the Sheriff hit the fan.
Members of his gang, like his daughter and secretary, are still under investigation. Cain’s two henchmen are currently trying to cop a plea.
Ride long and prosper,
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/27/2011
Hoka Hey Kimosabes,
Thanks for the feedback, especially the not so complimentary stuff. It’s been constructive. I’ve heard echoes on the wind about the existence of some abrasive half-breed with a big mouth. That’s probably me. I’ve also been told that my ramblings are becoming too “Easy Riderish”. I don’t think that was meant to be a compliment, but I might as well take it as one. I seriously doubt that we’ll ever see naked ladies in the Bailing Wire. I’m new to this writing thing, so if I wander too far off base, please feel free to call me on it. I need all the help I can get.
The last article ended with the ammo story, so staying on track with that headspace, here’s an email I received from an old friend.
From a Vet.
“I am a Vietnam Veteran and retired Police Officer.
I had a doctor’s appointment at the local VA yesterday and found out something very interesting that I would like to pass along. While going through triage before seeing the doctor, I was asked at the end of the exam, three questions;
Did I feel stressed?
Did I feel threatened?
Did I feel like doing harm to someone?
The nurse then informed me, that if I had answered yes to any of the questions, I would have lost my concealed carry permit as it would have gone into my medical records and the VA would have reported it to homeland security. Looks like they‘re going after the vets first.
Other gun people like retired law enforcement will probably be next. Then when they go after the civilians, what argument will they have? Be forewarned and be aware.
The administration is on record as considering veterans and gun owners potential terrorists.* Whether you are a gun owner, veteran or not, you have been warned. If you know veterans and gun owners, please pass this on to them. Be very cautious about what you say and to whom.”
I’m not arrogant enough to add any commentary. I believe my friend made his point very well. It is, however, important to point out that the “administration” bureaucrats referred to, have had their jobs for more than 45 years. They still work for Henry Kissinger and Donald Rumsfeld. ‘Nuff said. A large number of my friends, ABATE members and bikers in general, are ex-military, or at least armed for home and family protection. Consequently, I feel obligated to post gun law updates from time to time. Now, let’s get back to bikes:
Kids, just wanna have fu-un:
On Jan. 25, Representative Denny Rehberg introduced H.R. 412, the Kids Just Want to Ride Act of 2011, which would exempt kid-sized motorcycles and off-highway vehicles from the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008 that effectively bans their sale beginning May 1.
The AMA strongly supports this bipartisan effort and I concur. Now is a good time and this is a good reason to contact your Representative. You can actually become a cosponsor. May 1st is creeping up on us. As your J.O., I believe H.R. 412 to be the best shot we have for a viable legislative remedy to the (maybe) unintentional consequences proposed by the CPSIA which would permanently exclude kid-sized motorcycles and ATVs, as well as putting one hell of a lot of hard working folks in that industry out of business.
I urge all my bothers and sisters (especially you parents) to contact your Representative to express your opinion. It’s easy. You can find your Rep. by going to the site www.ca.gov/legislators and punching in your zip code. Here are some pointers to keep in mind:
Having spent most of my life in broadcasting, I know for a fact (and have been preaching for years) that the most powerful tool at your disposal when contacting your representative, or anyone else in a position of power, has always and forever been a one page letter sent by snail-mail. I have actually seen radio stations change their format as the result of one damn letter. If you don’t have the time or inclination to write, a call or brief email will suffice.
However you decide to contact them, the best way to be heard is as follows: DON’T RANT! That will get your message round-filed in a heartbeat. Be polite, stick to the point and ask for specific action from the person you’re trying to talk some sense into. Don’t ever think you lack the ability to make your individual voice heard. Suck it up, stick out your chest and think like Mark Twain; “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog”.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/19/2011
Po Po Alert!
If being rousted for no reason at all, other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time is your idea of fun, then this bust’s for you. This Saturday, Hemet is the place and 6pm. until 2am. is the time. Yesterday, the Hemet police sent out a press release which began; “In the past three years, there were 58 motorcycle-related collisions in Hemet, injuring 55 people.” It’s gratifying that nobody died, but I’d call that amount of road rash over a three year period, a matter for the odds maker in the sky. I have a clumsy friend who could come close to that record all by himself (you know who you are). The news release also said, “Motorcycles are inherently dangerous and that danger is compounded when the rider is impaired, and/or riding unsafely.” Granted, nobody wants drunks driving anything on the road, but I suspect the reasons for the upcoming exercise to be a bit more insidious. So…taken from the press release and eventual police blotter, here are the facts:
Hemet officers will be out in force from 6p.m.-2a.m. Saturday, as part of a planned saturation patrol looking for impaired motorcycle riders. Officers will be focusing their efforts on motorcycle safety violations and DUI riders. Safety violations, you say? Like maybe the new horizontal license plate law? Recently, a close friend of mine asked a sheriff what was the probable cause to light him up? The deputy replied, “You looked weird.” Egads! I have never had someone walk up to me and say, “Hi Nick, you’re certainly looking normal today!” Take heed, my brethren. This is a crack-down on Hemet bikers in retaliation for the saboteur actions, perpetrated awhile back, that the cops are placing the blame on a few Doc Martin aficionados loosely affiliated with a few disgruntled bikers. We “outlaw scooter trash” are an easy donkey to pin the tail on. The police have egg on their faces and they’re really pissed. Unless your registration and insurance is up to date, the cop doesn’t have to endure the effort of turning his head sideways to read your plate or you get a perverse thrill from being rousted and losing your bike (not to mention fighting over the toilet paper roll to use for a pillow), play it smart and stay the hell out of Hemet on Saturday. Just scooting your butt around town on a Harley, is going to be all the “probable cause” they need. You have been forewarned, I think that’s my job.
On the brighter side, I’m going to paraphrase an article from last Friday’s North County Times that should make you smile. An Escondido man, Rich Dudka has filed a $15 million lawsuit against Escondido, challenging the City’s driver’s license checkpoints. According to documents recently obtained by intrepid reporter Ed Sifuetes, Dudka filed suit in August after his ’05 Toyota Tundra was impounded after hitting a check point just before noon on Oct. 5, 2009. In a bind I’m way too familiar with, the truck was later sold because Rich could not afford to pay the impound fees. According to the lawsuit, “At the time the officer stopped the plaintiff’s vehicle, the officer had no probable cause to stop the plaintiff. As such, the officer’s stop of the plaintiff’s vehicle was unreasonable, and illegal.” The lawsuit also alleges that the checkpoint violate Vehicle Code § 14607.6, which states that an officer “shall not stop a vehicle for the sole reason of determining whether the driver is properly licensed.” Dudka is also asking the court to grant the lawsuit class-action status on behalf of everyone whose vehicles were impounded during driver’s license checkpoints between Jan. 1, 2004, and Aug. 1, 2010
Dudka’s attorney, Tom Flores, issued a written statement. “Driver’s license checkpoints, as practiced in the City of Escondido, run counter to our American ideals of freedom”, Flores wrote in an email. “This practice is a violation of our fundamental rights and we look forward to our day in court to defend the erosion of our individual liberties.” We wish them well.
The reason litigation like this takes so long is that when you sue a city, you have to sue them twice. The first time is routinely dismissed, while the city’s shysters circle their wagons to figure whether to offer a settlement or not. If a situation similar to this happens to you (perhaps in Hemet this weekend), contact me and maybe I can stir something up. Ride safe, ride smart and ride sober, or just stay on the back roads like me.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/13/2011
“The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first.” That’s a quote from Thomas Jefferson, that my BOLT buddy Mark reminded me of today. As a half-breed, I have a slightly skewed view on most everything, but the Great Spirit and I will try not to get too peachy. I’m old. So…cut me some slack on the ethereal/spiritual front. The relevance of the quote will become painfully apparent shortly. So…gird your loins or whatever it is that you gird when frightened, do whatever you do to relieve stress (I’m going to assume the rap star posture because I’m afraid they’re going to steal them too) and I’ll try to make this information go down as painlessly as possible.
I’ve written about “revenue enhancement” before, but that was small potatoes (apologies to Dan Quail) compared to the financial kick in the shins we’re about to confront. Effective immediately, a rolling “California stop”, will cost you $436. If you pass a bus with flashing red lights, you’ll get hit for $616.
I have not yet begun to make your wallet wince. The California Highway Patrol is under a mandate to increase revenues with a 30% increase in fines and the next time you park in one of my handicapped spaces, you’ll be looking at around a $1,000 whack (and I might key your ride). Take a deep breath, here we go:
VC 12814.6 $214 Failure to obey license provisions.
VC 14600(A) $214 Failure to notify DMV of address change within 10 days.
VC 16028(A) $796 Failure to provide financial responsibility.
VC 27360 $436 Mandatory use of passenger child restraints.
VC 4000 $256 No evidence of current registration.
VC 5200 $178 Proper display of license plates (the new regs are in a previous article).
Quoth Zippy the Pinhead (pindeo to my Hispanic bros), “Are we having fun yet?” The above fines can be “reduced” as fix-it tickets. Reduced to what? Not a clue. I’ll try to find out just what in the Wild World of Sports they’re talking about. Take a break, go to the fridge and take another deep breath, there’s more.
VC 22349 $214 Unsafe speed, 1 to 15 miles over the limit (this one that scares the hell out of me).
VC 22350 $328 Unsafe speed, 16 to 25 miles over the limit.
VC 23123(A) $274 Driving while using a wireless phone not hands free, first offense.
VC 23123(B) $256 Driving while using a wireless phone not hands free, each subsequent offense.
VC 23123.5 $148 Driving while using a wireless device to send, read or write text.
VC 23124 $148 Minor driving while using wireless phone.
VC 22500 $976 Parking in a bus loading area.
VC 22507(A) $976 Violation of disabled parking provisions, first offense.
VC 22507(B) $1,876 Violation of disabled parking provisions, second offense.
VC 26708 $178 Unlawful material on vehicle windows or windshields (huh?)
VC 27150 $178 Adequate muffler required (double huh?).
VC 27315 $148 Mandatory use of seat belts.
VC 27400 $178 Headsets or earplugs covering both ears (triple huh?). And last, but definitely not least:
VC 27803 $178 Violation of motorcycle safety helmet requirements (excuse me?)
I’m going to have to cut down on riding on anything but back roads, simply because I don’t have a Platinum American Express card. Exactly how some of these newbie fines shake out, I don’t quite get. I’ll reconnoiter and get back to you. But wait! There’s more! The fun ain’t over yet! Let’s morph from financial fear to real paranoia.
Scotts Valley is an incredibly scenic and fun community, nestled in a cradle in the mountains between Santa Cruz and San Jose. Many a good time has been had there. Except for the sounds of Rock & Roll and Jazz echoing through the valley from the musicians in the area, it’s a quiet place and now…too quiet. The Scotts Valley Police Department became the first law enforcement agency in California to accept delivery of a Zero DS electric motorcycle to assist in “local patrols and traffic enforcement”. What in the name of Slim Pickens is a Zero DS thingy you ask? Put on your colander hats and the foil on your windows, the silent sentinels have arrived.
The electronic juice heads at www.zeromotorcycles.com have come up with an on/off road stealth scooter. The specs are either impressive or scary, depending on your point of view. Powered by Zero’s proprietary “G-Force Power Pack”, on an aircraft grade alloy frame, this puppy has a range of 50 miles and a top speed of 70mph. The Zero DS’s Lithium–manganese battery is made in-house and accounts for half the bikes price of around $12,000. Zero’s battery cell technology is encased almost entirely in copper, dispensing heat 5 times more effectively than steel casings. The company claims a life-span of 75,000 miles. If true…wow. Torque-wise, apparently if you’re not careful taking off in “The” gear, you’ll find yourself flat on your back, looking at the pretty pictures in the clouds. I don’t know about you folks, but when I crash, it normally plays out like this: The third thing I do is worry about my physical damage (if I can get up, I’m probably fine and please don’t look at me bleeding on the pavement and ask me if I’m OK, that’s rude). The second thing I worry and fret about, is the shape of my Sled. After regaining what senses I may have left at the time, the first thing I do is look around to see if anyone saw me making an ass out of myself. Boy, did I digress. Sorry about that.
Moving right along; one L.T. of the Scotts Valley P.D., John Hohmann said, “We are exited to be the first police department in California to receive an electric Zero motorcycle because it will allow our officers to patrol more places, more often.” I thought the drones over my valley were weird enough. At least I could hear them.
Let’s attempt to summarize this puddle of penalties and Orwellian measures (1984 did happen, folks just weren’t paying attention), shall we? For starts, 1mph. over the limit? 1MPH OVER THE LIMIT? Holy harassment Batman, sure sounds subjective to me; “But Officer, I’m sure I was only going 54 and a half!” 214 bucks? I’ll have to commit another infraction writing a bad check to pay it.
Drones over my head and “no can hear ‘ems” in the hills behind me. Dang. The lesson here, I reckon, is watch your back and hide your wallet. By the way, if you don’t have a speedo (like about half of my crew), get one or ride with somebody that does. To quote my father; “Try not to make accidental enemies. They’re the ones that get you ‘cause you don’t know they’re coming”. I’m still working on that one Pops.
I’ll take a shot at ending on an upper note, since I don’t want any of you kimosabes trying to sneak up on me. The speed limit on my freeway is 70mph. I haven’t yet found a law that tells me how long I have to take to get there.
Ride long and prosper,
Nickolas
Judicial Officer.
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson ~
1/10/2011
My Brothers,
I promised in my last article to give you a history of BOLT. That will be postponed for three reasons; it’s going to be a longer article than I originally thought and I have to clear it through my friend Mark Temple of BOLT so I don’t make any mistakes. Right now, there’s something more important that we need to focus on.
The biker community nationwide has temporarily lost one of our staunchest advocates. You are all aware by now of the massacre in Arizona. What you may not know, is just what Congresswoman Gabrielle “Gabby” Giffords means to we scooter folk.
Gabrielle Giffords rides a Harley, without a helmet. Her husband Mark E. Kelly is an astronaut scheduled once again to pilot the shuttle on April 1st, to visit his twin brother Scott who is currently running the space station. Gabby is an avid equestrian and “motorcycle enthusiast”, repository of arcane health care data, a successful Democrat elected three times in a Republican Congressional district and a decent French horn player. She won her last election by a 1% point over a tea-bagger, pissing off the “I don’t know what I’m for, but I know what I hate” crowd considerably. We all know what riding in Arizona is like (if you don’t, ask me) and Gabby was working hard to make life easier for us in her state. Having grown up in and finally running her dad’s shop, El Camp Tire and Auto Service in Tucson (founded by her Grandpa in 1949), she bleeds 50wt. She is a co-chair of the Congressional Motorcycle Caucus with Republican Walt Jones of North Carolina. It’s not easy to win any office in Arizona as a Democrat, not to mention being Jewish. I’d like to quote one of her friends and aids, Tom Zoellner; “We once got into a conversation about the meaning of life and she had made sort of an existential decision that life was about helping other people, that life was about public service and she was going to arrange her life around that”. My kind of girl.
Remember that guy Newton? The stoner who only discovered reality because an apple fell on his head? If not, let me remind you. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you have nothing constructive to say, hold your mud. Believe that everything you say and do has consequences, unintended or not. So…try to lengthen the space between your brain and your mouth. I’m still working on that myself. In the meantime; pray to whatever you consider to be God, that our Gabby pulls through.
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
1/1/2011
Well… another year done gone. Thank God. If you even know someone who hasn’t been smacked around by the economic quagmire we find ourselves in, you’re surprisingly lucky. Anyway, we have a whole new year chock full of gleeful uncertainty to look forward to. Yippie. Regardless, I personally intend to choke every last breath of fun out of 2011.
One thing is certain, we have a bunch of new laws, rules and regulations to deal with. A wee bit of decent legislation did manage to pass last year, but even the good stuff was designed with a fee in mind. Much like the Army Corps of Engineers, it seems the California Legislature is only competent at screwing things up on a massive scale. Since they’ve managed to lose all the money they previously squeezed out of us, they’re looking for any extra penny they can pry out of our nooks and crannies. So in the spirit of revenue enhancement, but not wanting to start the year off with bummer news, here’s some of the better examples.
I’ve already written about the new learner’s permit requirements, they’re pretty strict but they might save a few lives. One new law is designed to save the lives of police officers. I have some acquaintances that genetically hate cops, period. They also tend to get locked up a lot. I’ve always found that my local law enforcement lads (and lassies, there’s this cute redhead…) come in really handy once in awhile, and they make extremely annoying enemies. Our boys in blue and brown have been given an Emergency Alert System for Christmas. It’s called the “Law Enforcement Officer’s Blue Alert” and works much like an “Amber Alert”. The alert system goes into effect if a law enforcement officer is killed, suffers serious bodily injury, or is assaulted with a deadly weapon and the miscreant has fled the scene. If the investigating agency determines that the suspect poses an imminent treat to the public or other law enforcement personnel, the blue alert is issued. A detailed description of the moron’s ride or license plate is made available to radio, TV and those flashy signs on the freeway. The reasoning behind this is that public dissemination of info can help prevent further incidents by having more eyes on the area and “accelerate apprehension” of the future convict.
As for actual laws, SB 1318 §5201 of the Vehicle Code was amended to require license plates to be parallel to the ground so the characters are upright and display from left to right. A bummer, indeed. I’ll dig into it and report back soon. The upside of SB 1318, however, is §21755 VC. This section was amended to allow riders to pass on the right under certain conditions (I’ll report back on that one too).
An excellent new law makes it a crime to “give or lend items that aid in the theft of motorcycles”. According to CHP Officer David Martinez, those items are any device that bypasses the factory-installed ignition to start the ignition without the manufacturer’s key “with the intent to unlawfully take or drive a motorcycle without the consent of the owner”. It gets better. It’s also a crime to possess, give or lend hardware intended to be used to steal a motorcycle. Those tools include bolt cutters (everyone’s favorite master key), electrical tape, wire cutters, wire strippers or allen wrenches. Why they didn’t include duck tape and a ball-peen hammer, I have no idea.
ABATE has its work cut out for it this year, and the best strategery for winning our upcoming battles is numbers. Membership numbers translate to votes, a mass consumer block translates to economic pressure and a large number of folks with a common goal, translates to power. I’ll try to keep y’all as up to date as possible on the legal snafus that confront us this year. I guess that’s a New Year’s resolution.
Haole Makahiki Ho, Gung Hee Fat Choi and Happy New Year,
Nickolas
Judicial Officer
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
12/28/10
My mind drifts back to my buddies who rode 40 years on a learner’s permit. Those days were almost gone when I last wrote about that. They are now ancient history, or much like me, remnants of a bygone era.
As of January 1, even getting that learner’s permit is going to be bit of a grind. I’ll get to that, but here’s the back story.
An 18 year old by the name of Jarrad Cole had a freak fatal crash while his dad was teaching him to ride on a brand new Suzuki RS. When the dad, Evan, turned his back to get more cones out of the garage, he heard the motor rev and a thump. He turned around to see Jarred in the neighbor’s yard with a severed chest artery. If there had been a hospital across the street, it wouldn’t have saved him.
Jarrad’s younger brother, Sawyer, and a friend, Michael Kelleher, launched a senior-class project to change state law. They actually pulled it off, in spades. They enlisted then-Assemblyman Rodger Niello and lobbyist Michael Hawkins to go to bat for them. The results of their efforts, as of Jan. 1, are thus:
The new law requires teenagers to take the State’s 15 hour California Motorcyclist Safety Program. The course, which, of course, costs $150, is administered by the Motorcycle Safety Foundation and authorized by the California Highway Patrol. You can find more info at www.ca-msp.org . Once the kid has passed the course, he or she qualifies for a learner’s permit. The permit allows the teen to ride on streets, but not at night, not on freeways and not with passengers.
After six months, the teen qualifies for a motorcycle license. Kids under 18, however, still cannot drive between 11p.m. and 5a.m., and can’t carry passengers until they hit 20.
On the one hand, I learned to ride by picking myself up (a lot). But on the other hand, that was then, this is not then. It’s a lot easier to become road-kill crossing a street that didn’t used to see traffic at all. The cops don’t make you pour out your beer, give you a lecture and follow you home any more. A split-second gaze at the cutie on the corner can get you T-boned. I first thought the new law was way too rights-intrusive. Then I thought, “How would I feel if that was my kid”.
Ride long and prosper,
Nickolas
ABATE Local #27
Judicial Officer
In a Quart of Slaw
Legal news of note to our community
“In a Democracy, the people get the government they deserve.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
“But I’ve been riding on a learner’s permit for 35 years!”
Better watch out, Grandpa, your days of sliding by without an M1 endorsement are pretty much over. Lucky for me, I received mine on my 250 Scrambler when I was 16 ½. Roy Orbison was crackling from the tin can speakers, on my fogged up window at the Anaheim Drive-In. You do the math. I’m not sure I could have steered my old Chief (8” over) through the DMV’s figure 8 box even now.
Our benevolent overseers in Sacramento have acquiesced to the money sucking demands of the Department of Motor Vehicles and hence forth (as of Jan. 2), the following changes to our traffic laws will be in force. On Wednesday (12/15), the DMV held a spiffy press conference to announce their new rules to promote safety while enhancing revenue. Those new edicts are:
1. Drivers under 21 who want a permit for a motorcycle will need to complete a safety course: That means the youngsters will have to complete an approved course before they get a permit to practice riding, to carry for six months before they can apply for a Class M endorsement.
2. Traffic Violator School Program: Although it’s going to take quite some time to implement,
eventually, you’ll be able to go to a court-approved traffic school online, at home, with a beer
in your lap.
3. Organ Donation: The new DL applications will require that you check a “yes” or “no” box
when asked if you can spare a spleen. I’ve always said; “Any salvageable parts of mine that
can be scraped off the road before the critters eat me and start hallucinating, are up for grabs”.
4. Local Traffic Ordinances: Local authorities will no longer be allowed to enact or enforce
any local ordinances on matters already covered by the DMV, i.e., hastily passed laws to
discourage runs, or any functions the local city council finds distasteful can be successfully
creamed in court, with big bucks going to the plaintiffs.
5. Driving Under the Influence: Passed, but not starting until January 1, 2012, drivers
convicted of a third or subsequent DUI, can lose their license for 10 years. If you play nice,
pay copious cashish and jump through some well deserved hoops, reinstatement will be
possible after only 5 years. So, if you see a drunk jump on his bike and you clothes-line the
moron before he gets into traffic, you will have done him (and society) a favor.
Surprisingly, I can’t argue with any of these provisions. Moreover, I can’t stress enough the importance of getting your M1 endorsement (not to mention a AAA Plus tow card) before you get pulled over and have to walk home. The LEOs these days are stopping packs of riders and confiscating the bikes of anyone without an M1. If you take one of the many DMV approved riding courses like Ride Rite in Norco www.riderite.netwww.riderite.net , they’ll supply you with a small cc bike, nurse you through the cones and lighten your wallet by only a couple hundred bucks. After that, you only have to take the written test at the DMV and don’t forget to memorize the DMV handbook.
I have one more traffic tidbit to tell y’all. If you receive a ticket in the mail for running a red light, feel free to use it for toilet paper. Ain’t no consequences other than your sense of guilt, or lack thereof. The powers that be (since refusal to pay won’t affect your DMV record or insurance in any way) are relying on the honor system to collect their fundage. “Be a corporate citizen” is the bumper sticker mantra they’re trying to spread with your cheese. I’ll pony up when they fix my corporate potholes.
Ride long and prosper,
Nickolas.
ABATE Local #27
Judicial Officer.